Satan’s “Thank You”

Just a note to express my gratitude and thanks,
For the help that you’ve been with my mischief and pranks.
I need not put effort in destroying your soul,
For without my help you’ve dug your own hole.

Thank you dear saint for not paying your tithe,
The church needs to suffer its financial plight.
To hoard for retirement was the right thing
Withholding your wealth is not really sin.

You did so well by gossiping your brother,
The hurt you’ve inflicted has passed to another.
Dissention you’ve wrought with a flick of your hand,
You’re shifting the church to life’s sinking sand.

Thank you, dear saint, for neglecting your Bible,
You’ve been my inspiration while staying idle.
And I need not mention your poor prayer life,
I’m now better equipped to stir hatred and strife.

Thank you for twisting strong scriptural truth,
You are such a genius and my spiritual sleuth.
You’ve caused God’s people to think sin is good,
And destroyed the foundation where truth once stood.

Destroying the pastor was your greatest act,
You’re wiser than him and that is a fact.
So continue my friend to scandal his name,
And I will reward you with glory and fame.

To work at the church you managed to skip,
You put pressure of labour on the poor preacher’s hip.
Thanks for never contributing your time,
You’re a good accomplice with my petty crime.

When it comes time to worship, you lower your voice,
God needs not your praises, you’ve made the right choice.
And during the service, you keep your hands down,
Instead of being joyful, your face wears a frown.

Thanks for the times you took me to church,
You provided the victims thus reducing my search.
In dampening the service, you really helped out,
I’d be lost in your absence and that’s without doubt.

When time to witness you helped me again,
You kept the church secret, and told not a friend.
To be ashamed of your church is quite a cool act,
Serving God is not hip and that is a fact.

Well, my dear friend what else can I say?
You are my disciple and let’s keep it that way.
Don’t ever forsake me but believe in my lies,
For I will reward you with a super, grand prize.